5 Ways to Mark R U OK? Day at Work that aren’t Yellow Cupcakes.
Build the soft skills that turn R U OK? Day into year-round support. Practical steps for leaders and teams to check in with empathy and follow through.
On Thursday 10 September, offices across Australia will pause for R U OK? Day. There will likely be yellow cupcakes, a poster near the kitchen. Someone will send an all-staff email. And by Friday, most of it will be packed away for another twelve months.
Don’t be fooled - we love a sugar hit as much as the next person. But we need to remember that RU OK goes beyond one day. It’s a healthy reminder to harness our empathy and to learn some new skills that allow us to support those around us with thoughtfulness and compassion. We so rarely know all of what is going on in someone else’s life, but with the right tools and armed with knowledge, we can begin to prop open the door and provide opportunities for connection and guidance.
Ask "R U OK?" and "is work okay?"
If we’re going to create space for open and honest conversations, we need to start with the four steps R U OK? Recommends:
Ask, Listen, Encourage Action, Check in.
If it feels uncomfortable, we need to look internally to assess why you find it uncomfortable. This self awareness will help us to overcome any fear, barriers or negative associations to then put our best foot forward enabling effective engagement with those around us. As a human skill, self awareness is foundational and fundamental as it helps us understand our own thoughts, emotions and actions. Once we better understand ourselves, we are then able to use it for emotional control, better communication, stronger empathy, smarter decision-making and effective leadership (to name just five benefits!).
To have the conversation, take a breath, and:
Step 1: Ask
Find a private moment. "Hey Alex, I’ve noticed you’ve been a bit quieter than usual lately and wanted to check in. How are you tracking?"
Step 2: Listen
Alex admits they are feeling completely overwhelmed by the current project. You don't interrupt or offer immediate fixes. You use active listening: "That sounds incredibly stressful, Alex. It makes total sense that you're feeling overwhelmed with that deadline looming."
Step 3: Encourage Action
Instead of taking over, guide them to a solution. "What do you think is the biggest bottleneck right now? Would it help if we spoke to the manager together about adjusting the timeline, or is there a specific task I can take off your plate today?"
Step 4: Check In
A few days later, follow up. "Hey Alex, just wanted to see how you're feeling after our chat the other day. Did you manage to get that deadline pushed back?"
What are the stakes?
Safe Work Australia's data shows mental health claims (Workplace harassment and bullying, high work pressure & exposure to aggression) now make up approximately 9 to 12% of all serious workers' compensation claims, and when a psychological injury occurs, the median time off work is almost five times longer than for a physical one. Allianz has reported that nearly 3 million Australians are considering quitting their job due to burnout and mental distress.
The encouraging news? R U OK? 's own research suggests approximately nine in ten Australians are asked "are you OK?" feel more connected as a result, yet around one in three still underestimate the difference one conversation makes.
Five things you can do on R U OK? Day that aren't cupcakes
1. Start with yourself.
You cannot support others well from an empty tank. Before you check in on anyone else, check in on your own capacity, your sleep, your workload, your limits. Self-awareness is where every good conversation begins.
2. Run check-ins.
Host small, optional, low-pressure peer groups where people share how they are going. Keep the focus on listening, not fixing. Often the act of saying something hard out loud is a relief in and of itself.
3. Point people to the right door.
Make sure everyone knows where to go when work is the problem. Not just the EAP, but the leader, HR or WHS contact who can actually explore and address a psychosocial hazard. Show them the reporting and escalation pathways before they need them.
4. Take it outside.
Swap the boardroom for a fifteen-minute walk. Movement lowers anxiety, and a sensitive conversation often flows more easily side by side than across a desk.
5. Invest in human skills training.
A conversation is only as good as the skill set behind it. Empathy, active listening, emotional regulation and knowing how to respond when someone says "no, I'm not OK" are learnable capabilities, not innate traits. RU OK day demonstrates intention but training builds competence to form skills that will show ROI, all year, in every 1:1, every check-in and every difficult conversation that doesn’t fall on 10 September.
Because at Maxme, we believe success is human.
If you are worried about someone right now and it feels urgent, contact a GP or call Lifeline on 13 11 14.
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